Falling-Out-OfLove.com

It Never Happened – If you define ‘love’ as having a ‘great care and concern’ for someone, then I never fell out of love with Mike. Even today, years later, I still have a great care and concern for him and his happiness – even though I’ve remarried (so did he).

Three years into our relationship, he told me he was getting bored with our lifestyle – and especially with our sex life. We did do the same stuff most of the time. He wanted to experiment – I wasn’t very interested. He would bring home porn flicks – ‘How To’ books – magazines. Most times to me most of them looked like adults playing doctor like when we were kids.

Finally I told him if he was that interested in ‘different sex’ – to go find someone who was also interested. He did. He would come home at night limp like a wet noodle. That was fine with me. I was losing anything – he was gaining something that he enjoyed.

As far as I was concerned it could have gone on like that forever. But the new girlfriend said it couldn’t. She didn’t want him having sex with anyone else. So maybe six months later we filed for divorced. He got a place and had the woman move in with him. That lasted maybe another six or seven months an then that was over. I never asked what happened. We still talk once in a while – exchange emails.

Rosalinda

Slipping out of love – Paul and I didn’t fall out of love – like one big fall over a cliff. We just stopped being excited about being with each other. Everything was fine. We would go out a few times during the week – often dance together. We would also have sex two or three times a week. But it felt more like two old friends just giving each other a massage that produced its own liquids at the end. The big rush had somehow disappeared. Sometimes I felt like a porn star – just going through the motions – and moaning on cue.

When he started seeing another woman I didn’t even care. It’s wasn’t a big deal. Just didn’t matter. If it made him happy it was fine. But somehow the word of his affair got back to my office. Then I started getting the ‘poor you’ routine from my colleagues. Thne I did care – I felt that I had to act as if I was pissed.

Not too long later I moved out of his place and in with some friends. By that time it was over.

No big deal.

Jane

It Just Happened – It was one of those dumb things that you read about in books or see in the movies. I was at a new restaurant close to where I live. I took one look at the woman who was seating people – at her smile – heard her voice – and it was like someone had attached an electric clip to one of my ears (and several other places on my body).

I knew it was stupid (mean I’m forty years old – divorced with two kids). But I sat there watching how she moved and handled herself and customers during the entire dinner. It was just like the old “Love at First Sight” stuff of teenagers.

I went back several times. Eventually, we had a chance to talk together later one evening. I asked her if you might like go out some evening and she said she didn’t date customers (turns out she was one of the restaurant owners). Apparently, there wasn’t any sparks at her end. 

I still think about her once in a while – even when I’m with other women.
Pretty crazy. 

Peter

I Never Knew - It was over two years ago but I vividly remember the ‘event’ like it happened this morning. We had been married for over six years. At the breakfast table David said, “I want a divorce”. I was simply stunned. All I could think to say was, “Have you lost your mind?”

We were both headed to work and left it with ‘we’ll talk about it this evening’. I remained stunned all day. All I could think of was there must be another woman. 

As it turns out there wasn’t another woman (yet – there was later – he’s since remarried). It seems as though for the previous two years he had been feeling that our life together was stagnating – our sex life was getting boring – and our social life was very unexciting (Saturday nights dining out, TV after dinner during the week, etc, etc). In fairness, he did mention several times about some changes we could try in our sex lives – which I dismissed as being too uncomfortable for me to consider. At the time I just thought it was idle conversation. Guess it wasn’t.

I didn’t fall out of love – He did.

Alice